rainbowhipster: (Default)
Title: The Grand Scheme of Things
Summary: And maybe, Gaz thought, they were all Broken. He couldn't even die correctly.
Rating: T
Fandom: Invader Zim
Pairings: n/a
Comments: n/a
What are you doing, Dib? This is going to fail. You always fail. Stupid.

"How long as it been?" he asks, voice loud in the cold, still silence.

The sky is dark and riddled with pinpricks of light, and the road they are walking down is bathed red from the light of the moon.

She stops, pauses, and turns to look at him. He's about ten feet behind her, and is still walking at his normal pace. He isn't trying to catch up. He doesn't stop. He doesn't catch her eye. In fact, he avoids it.

Dib and Gaz Membrane are siblings, they just got into high school, and they are utterly alone in the world.

Gaz stands there, staring, as he comes up to her. His footsteps echo in the quiet night, and he's still avoiding her eyes. He passes her.

She turns and stares after him as he continues to walk, trenchcoat wrapped tightly around him. Dib's about twenty feet ahead when she finally speaks.

"A while."

She's not sure if he heard her, and he doesn't reply. She continues to watch as he continues to their house.

"It's going to be fine!" she yells after him, but is the message to him or to her, she doesn't know.

Click. Reset.

"Did you do your homework?" Professor Membrane asks, goggles flashing. Dib presses the YES button. "Good job, son! I knew you could do it!"

He rewinds.

"What are you doing?" Gaz asks from the doorway. Her arms are loaded with empty bags.

"I'm talking to Dad." Dib replies, listening as the questions started again. "I miss him, sometimes."

"He thought you were crazy."

His eyes didn't stray from the screen, and their dads face is reflected in his cracked glasses. "So did you."

She laughs, a harsh bark that comes deep from her chest. "I still do."

"We all are." he says without hesitation. She stands there, arms still loaded with plastic bags, before storming up the stairs. He rewinds.

"Did you do your homework?"

Click. Reset.

They haven't turned the lights on since It happened. Dib wonders idly if the neighbors wonder were they are and what happened, and if they would check on them. Gaz points out that they're probably dead. He doesn't reply.

"Do you think the television still works?" Gaz asks after a while of bearing the offended silence. He shrugs. "Do you want to watch Mysterious Mysteries?"

Dib stares at her. The crack in his glasses make his left eye look strange.

"What happened to you?"

"What are you talking about?"

He motions to the television. "This." He juts his finger at himself. "This. You used to hate this."

Her face remains emotionless. "I still do."

"So what are you doing," he asks, "wanting me to watch a show you hate, fixing dinner, everything? If you still hate me, how come you haven't hit me yet?"

She stretches and leans over to grab his hand. "You're all I have left. I still hate you, I still think you're crazy and stupid and the worst brother ever, but you're all I have left. It's all in the grand scheme of things."

He doesn't reply or look at her, but he doesn't let go of her hand.

Dib wonders, for the first time in years, if he's actually crazy.

Click. Reset.

"We've lost weight." Dib points out, running a finger over the ribs protruding from Gaz's stomach. She bats his hand away, scowling.

"We haven't eaten, either." She passes him his shirt and pulls on her shoes. "Get dressed, we're going to be late."

The school is falling apart already, not built to last without care every day. They make their way up the cracked steps, and when Gaz almost trips over a loose brick, Dib grabs her hand and doesn't let go till they separate into their separate classrooms. Gaz pushes open the door and sits at her front row desk, staring at the blackboard.

The date from the first day is still written up there, along with the math facts meant to be copied down onto unwilling students paper. She diligently pulls her binder out and starts to copy them down, ignoring the past papers, crinkled and fading.

Gaz takes time writing each letter, each number. She prides herself in her penmanship, and wants this to look good. Better than the past one. Better than all of them, all of the past papers combined.

An amount of time passes, and Dib bursts into the door. It falls off its hinges, but neither notice. He kisses her, and doesn't close his eyes.

"What was that for?" she asks, almost unheard, when they part.

"I just wanted to make sure you were real," he said, not parting their gaze.

They fuck, and the only witness is the cracked and fading chalkboard.

Click. Reset.

Dib traces alien symbols into the palm of Gaz's hand. She stopped going to school, and he followed soon after. Her eyes follow his every move, shaded under the dark eyeliner she has yet to wash off. It's been there since the Beginning, and it's all she has to hold onto. That, and Dib, but he's been Broken and isn't The Same.

"Like a doll." he murmurs, and she tunes back into what he was saying.


Dib smiles slightly, brown eyes dull. He's stopped wearing his glasses, and it makes her sad. He doesn't look The Same, and only proves that he's Broken beyond repair. "Like a doll, I said. Doll's don't ever question what's done to them, they stand there and take it and pretend to care. You've never paid attention. Not since I've known you, at least. I could screw you into the ground right now and you wouldn't even notice."

"I would," Gaz says it slowly, after a moments thought. The words are spaced out. "I would notice, and I would scream. I'm not a doll, I never was and never will be."

"You're so filled with rage you don't know what to do with yourself, so you don't. All this tension..." His finger stops, pressing into her palm enough so that it hurts. She doesn't move. "Doll's can break, you know. I could break you here and now and you couldn't do a thing."

"I would scream," she says, glaring at his hand. His fingernails are cracked and dirty.

"Who would hear you?" He presses harder.

"Someone would. I'd get help."



Dib cocks his head, blink up at her, before grinning that fake grin he has and turning back to her hand, moving his finger again.

"He's starting to rot, you know." Gaz says.

"Dad will come through," is all Dib says, "He always comes through."

Maybe, Gaz thinks, we're all Broken.



Gaz stares down at Dib's body, taking in every detail. The tattered coat, the glasses-less face, and the messy cowlick he was never without. His ribs show through the shirt, and only then does she realize neither had eaten since It happened.

"Maybe we could have eaten each other." Gaz says, voice sounding somehow hollow in the empty house. "We could have survived, then."

"We're Broken," Dib replies. "You Broke, too, not too long ago. Dolls, all of us."

"Shut up," Gaz hisses, fists clenching. "You're dead."

Dib doesn't say anything back, and doesn't even move.

"You're dead," she repeats, "You can't talk. Stupid, didn't you know that?"

She thinks maybe he moves, so she kicks him. "Idiot, you don't even know how to be dead. You can't even die correctly."

"You couldn't live correctly, so you're even." her dad calls from the next room.

"Shut up, Dad." she almost smiles. "Dead people can't talk."

Gaz sits down on her bed and curls up under the sheets. She stares up at the ceiling and waits to die.

Everything stops.

It isn't supposed to make sense, Gaz. Nothing is supposed to. Just let it be.
rainbowhipster: (Default)
Title: Breakside
Summary: Your name is Tavros Nitram, and this is the story of your life after you met Nepeta Leijon.
Rating: T
Fandom: Homestuck
Pairings: TavrosxNepeta
Comments: n/a
~First Meeting~

Your name is Tavros Nitram, you are three sweeps old, and you are hopelessly lost.

You were on your way to your friend Aradia's hive to FLARP, when Vriska messaged you and told you to take a shortcut through the forest. You followed her directions, because she'd never lie to you, but you must have taken a wrong turn. You've lost any sight you once had of the already almost-hidden path. All around you are trees, trees, and more trees. You'd never admit this to any of your friends, especially Vriska, but you're a bit scared of the dark. You know it's silly, because you live your life in the dark, but you don't like not seeing what's coming at you.

You're walking quickly, looking both ways over and over to search for a way out, when the snap of a twig behind you makes you stop. It's probably just a twig, in all of its innocent dry twiginess, but it still makes you slowly turn around and clutch your bag closer to you. Squinting your eyes, you take a few brave steps forward (no, you are not trembling) when something pounces out at you with a hiss.

You barely have time to squeak when it pins you down. You keep your eyes closed, waiting for the killing blow. When it doesn't come, you open one eye warily before opening both to stare, startled, at your attackers face.

It's a young troll girl with long, messy black hair. She's wearing the plain black shirt all trolls wear until they hit five sweeps under a dark green coat that's much to big for her, and her face is flushed green and slightly sweaty from running.

"Hi!" she says happily, pressing her button nose against yours. Her big yellow eyes blink. "My name's Nepeta! I haven't seen another troll in billions of sweeps!" She's sat back up now and is bouncing up and down on your chest, obviously excited. "What're you doin' out here in the dark woods? It's almost morning! Stupid, you'll get burned!" She pulls you up and starts dragging you deeper into the forest. You start to protest, because you have to get to Aradia's hive or they'll all be disappointed, but her loud chatter drowns you out. Her grip is tighter than Vriska's, and you don't know whether to be impressed or terrified.

After what seems like sweeps, you're finally at her hive; just in time, too, because the sun is starting to peek over the hill. Her hive is just a small cave, but warm and cozy and smelling a bit like raw meat. But strangely, even though you're a vegetarian, this doesn't gross you out at all.

She's smiling at you again, showing sharp catlike eyeteeth. The rest of her teeth are more worn than the average three-sweep-old (she can't be more than that), and you wonder if maybe she hunts for herself. Most lusus's wait until their troll is at least four to make them start hunting, but by the looks of her she's been hunting since she was a grub.

"I forgot to ask your name!" Nepeta realizes, and you snap out of your thoughts.

"T-Tavros. Tavros Nitram." You say, wincing at your stutter. You hate that. Nepeta either doesn't notice or she doesn't care. "Nice to meetcha, Tavros!"

She's grabbing some paint and moving over to the far wall of the cave. You follow her; a small portion of the wall is covered in pictures, some of which you recognize; Equius, Terezi, her and Vriska. They are each paired up and grouped into separate quadrants, with comments scribbled on the sides, ranging from Purrfect to This would never work!

"This is my shipping wall!" Nepeta says proudly as she starts sketching something new in brown paint. "This is where I purr up everyone! It's a lot of work but worth it!" When she starts on the new figures horns you notice she's drawing you, and blush brown.

"How do you know them?" You ask, motioning to the other drawings. She's focusing on the drawing of you, her green-tinged tongue peeking out of her mouth, but she answers, "Equius is my moirial! He dug me and Pounce out of the rubble when my last hive collapsed, and found me this cave! He introduced my to Vwhiskers, and I play with Terezi!" She's done and steps back to admire her work. You admire it with her. It may be a bit messy, but you can tell that it's you (the giant horns help).

She bites her lip and looks at you with curious eyes, "Do you like to roleplay?"

You blush again. "Ummmm, y-yeah. I was on my way to Vwhi- I mean, V-Vriska's house to FLARP when I got l-lost..."

She grins widely, "Me too! Since we'll be stuck here all day, wanna roleplay with me?"

You think for a moment and nod. She's obviously happy with this answer.

"The mighty lioness pounces on the unknowing bull..."

You decide you rather like this girl, especially when she smiles.


Nepeta turns five sweeps old two quarter sweeps after you. You've introduced her to Gamzee, Karkat, Aradia and Sollux, and she's introduced you to Feferi, Eridan and Kanaya. You don't see them a lot, but you all show up to her Sign Ceremony. The Sign Ceremony is where each troll gets their respective sign, the color of her blood color. Hers is called Leo, a small squiggle with a circle at the end. When she's given her shirt, the smile that stretches across your face is (almost) as big as the one across hers. The applause that sounds from the large crowd makes your ears ring. She pounces off the stage and onto Equius, squealing. You're only a bit jealous, but of how many people showed up to her Ceremony or of Equius, you're not sure.

Later, all twelve of you gather at Terezi's painfully colorful hive for a party. She's chattering excitedly to Sollux and Aradia, probably discussing how amazing and perfect her Ceremony was (it went better than most), when Feferi calls out that it's time for gifts. She gets some pretty cool things; glove claws from Aradia, a husktop from Sollux, and a new coat (overly large, just the way she likes it, and a paler green with a blue catlike tail attached) from Kanaya. You feel a bit out of place with your present, because it certainly isn't flawless like Kanaya's, or expensive like Sollux or Aradia's.

She peels away the kitty wrapping paper to reveal a blue knit kitty hat, with a white nose and white eyes, a tie for under her jaw to keep it on and holes for her horns. She's been going through a growth spurt and her horns are growing, so you made them a bit too big on purpose. You're afraid that she's going to toss it aside like the trash Vriska convinced you it was.

But she doesn't; she squeals loudly and happily, and pounces on you in a huge hug. "Thank you so much! It's purrfect! I love it!" She's smiling wider than she has since the ceremony, and you hug her awkwardly back. You're a bit taller than her now so you have to shift around a bit before it's comfortable. She pulls away and puts the hat on, allowing Kanaya to tie it in a knot before bouncing away to find the pastries Feferi had made.

Sometime in the night, Gamzee shaves your long, messy hair into a type of short mohawk, and Nepeta lets him cut her hair short to match yours. A smile stays on your face all night.

~The Accident~

The pain in your legs is excruciating, and even Tinkerbull's frantic, comforting whispers don't help. You clench your eyes shut and try to will away the pain, but it isn't working. Grasping your handheld device tightly, you manage to contact the first person on your list; Karkat.

adiosToreador [AT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]



AT: aND, uHH










carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]

Karkat ceases trolling you, and you let your anger get the best of you, throwing it at the rock ledge leaning over you, where it shatters into pieces.

Afterthoughts tell you that this was a very, very bad idea and you're pretty much screwed now.

You lie there for what seems like sweeps, feeling the sand below and around you turn wet with the mudcolored blood it soaks up, and your legs are going numb now. Finally you tire of staring up at the lightening sky and shut your eyes, giving in to sleep. You know this might not be smart but you just don't care any more.

Suddenly someone is shaking you and your eyes snap open.

Your site is blurry for a moment, but once it clears, Nepeta's worried face swims into view.

"Tavros!" she says, a worried smile flitting across her face. "Stay here, I'll go get Gamzee!"

She runs off, a thick suncloak covering her face and body. She's made a type of tent over your body, covering you from the hot sun that's risen while you were sleeping. Your face and arms are painfully warm, signaling that you'd gotten a bit burned before she came by.

A few minutes later, she runs back, stumbling over the sand, with Gamzee a few steps behind her taking long legged strides in your direction. She takes down the tent quickly and wraps you up thoroughly, being careful of your legs. You feel Gamzee wrap his arms around you and pick you up, Nepeta's hands cradling your head.

"Whoa bro," Gamzee is saying, his voice muffled by the cloak covering your face, "You got beat up!"

You almost laugh, and drift into sleep as they move you across the sand, towards your hive.

Nepeta contacts Kanaya, who comes and sets and bandages up your legs. The three stay with you at your hive as your legs heal, and Nepeta convinces Equius to build you a fourwheeled device.

You've healed nicely and you're getting a hang of your fourwheeled device. Terezi comes to visit you one day, and you're terrified when you see the tealtinged burns covering her face, neck and arms, and the bandages covering her eyes and the skin around it. She tells you that Vriska blinded her and killed Aradia, but at least she got some blows in. Nepeta asks you why you're friends with Vriska, and you can honestly say that you don't know.

You're deprived of Nepeta's smile for a halfsweep as she gets over the loss of her friends, and you stay by each others side and comfort each other. One day, Vriska contacts you and you block her. Nepeta is looking over your shoulder, and says that even though she knows that it will probably only be temporary because Vriska has such a hold over your mind, she's proud of you.

You smile at each other, and everything is okay again.


Gamzee is the first one to tell you about the game Sollux has made. Nepeta has moved caves and you've moved hives, so you don't live so close anymore. You still consider her one of your close friends, but you aren't talking so much anymore. Karkat tells you that she'll be connecting you into the game. You're excited by this, until she contacts you saying that Equius forbade it.

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]

AC: :33 *ac curls up in tavroses lap*

AT: oKAY, *i,




AC: :33 *ac takes a long nap*

AC: :33 *and then wakes up and frowns because she has bad news*

AT: *oH NO,*

AT: iS,



AC: :33 tavros im sorry i cant be on your team :((

AC: :33 im not allowed

AT: oH,



AC: :33 yes unfurtunately

AC: :33 rarg im so mad!



AC: :33 i dont know

AC: :33 you think so?





AC: :33 hmm purrhaps

AC: :33 but i still f33l bad




AC: :33 ok thanks :((

arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]

You may be disappointed, but you understand. Equius is a huge hemo-lover, and since you are pretty low, you know that he hates you, and it's probably for a good reason too.

After a while of torturing you, Vriska finally gets you into the game. It's really dusty and keeps getting in your eyes and clogging up the wheels of your fourwheel device, so the rocketchair that she provided you is a pretty handy thing. You don't really know what to do, so you fly into a cave and stay there for a while.

Time continues to pass until Aradia comes to get you, signaling that the game is really about to start.

You are excited. It's been a while since you've played a fun game with your friends.


After playing around in the ectobiology lab for a while and some harsh lessons from Karkat (he's actually a pretty good teacher when he doesn't lose his temper, and this surprises you), you've managed to make your good friend Horsaroni again. Fiduspawn was one of you and Tinkerbull's favorite games, and you've missed it. You wonder briefly if you could possibly make another so that you could actually play it, but then you decide that it would be a bad idea.

You sneak off at least twice a day to play with Horsaroni. You can't tell anyone, especially Nepeta. You know how much she's missed hunting and decide that she would probably kill the poor thing without much of a thought.

You feel a slight pang in your chest; you used to be so close, talking late into the night about meaningless things, complaining how hard and annoying morailship was, discussing quadrants and roleplaying... Now she is always off drawing or trolling, or searching through timelines, and you're always sleeping, 'training' with Vriska, or playing with Horsaroni.

Only Karkat knows. He doesn't care, as long as you don't 'screw over everything or make a fucking mess like the nookstain you are' you can keep Horsaroni, and he'll keep Horsaroni a secret.

Horsaroni licks your hand, powdered with ground up sweethay as a treat for your friend, and you smile. Sometimes you feel like he's the only thing you can actually talk to. Besides Rufio, but he isn't real.


You jump about a foot in the air, jolting your fourwheeled device, and Horsaroni neighs and trots off away into a corner. Nepeta is standing in the doorway, her hat off. She flips on the lights (you kept them off for safety's sake, in the hope to not draw anyone's attention, especially spiderbitches) and you wheel around to face her, hoping she doesn't see Horsaroni.

She does. "Is that Horsaroni?" She asks, smiling. Your heart beats quicker when you see her smile. Oh please gog don't make her kill him, you think.

She doesn't, instead hopping over to where he is and scratching him behind the ears just the way he likes it. She pulls a half-eaten apple out of her pocket and gives it to him. After sniffing it a few times, warily, Horsaroni accepts it and chomps on it happily.

You're about to ask her if she's going to kill him when she turns and says, "I remember when you first spawned him! We went out by the culling fields and taught him how to ride, purrfectly if I do say so myself!" Nepeta giggles, then licks her lips thoughtfully and comes over to curl up by your feet, looking up at you with wide eyes, "Those were the days, huh?"

You nod. The two of you spend countless hours talking about your lives on Alternia and what you miss about it until Kanaya comes looking for you.

Nepeta says she's missed talking to you and that you should totally do this again, and you nod, smiling shyly. You have too, and an empty spot in your heart you didn't know you had until now vanishes.


You tell Nepeta that you didn't remember how hard it was to learn how to walk until now, and she laughs like it was a joke. You decide you like her laugh as much as her smile.

It took Nepeta exactly an earth hour and three earth seconds to convince Equius to make you the robot legs. He wasn't all that careful when he put them on, not even bothering to give you anesthetic, but it wasn't too bad because Nepeta was there to hold your hand.

She spends most of her waking hours now helping you get used to the legs, making you take the antipain meds when you won't, and helping you with the stairs. Oh god, the stairs. You wonder why there are so many, and Nepeta agrees. She says she'll talk to Karkat about it.

Every day she takes you up and down the stairs, and doesn't complain when she's late for mealtimes because you can't walk fast yet without tripping, or when you step on her toes or squeeze her hand a bit too tight.

Every once in a while you tell her to take a break and you can do it yourself, and she still doesn't complain when you come to her door with cuts and bruises on you because you fell down.

It takes a while, but you finally get used to the legs with only a few problems, and you tell her thank you too many times, and she smiles back every time, saying, "It's no purroblem!"

After the fiftieth time of this exchange, she kisses you on the cheek and dashes away, bright green.

You put your hand over where she kissed you, like trolls do in the romcom you watched with Karkat once.

And then you realize that you're smiling, and you haven't smiled this big, or felt this right, in a really long time.


You're suddenly standing in front of Nepeta's door, hand raised awkwardly to knock, but you are hesitant. You came here for one reason; you are flushed, so very flushed, for Nepeta Leijon. It's embarrassing and there's no way it could ever work out, but you've decided that the worst she could do is never talk to you again. That would stink, and you try not to think of that.

You summon all of the courage you have (thanks to Rufio!) start to knock, and...

It could wait, you decide, and turn away. Then the door opens and Nepeta's voice is saying, "Oh hi Tavvy!"

You wince to yourself and turn around, "H-Hi Nepeta."

"Did you need something?" she asks sweetly, with that adorable cat look on her face that only she could get. You smile despite yourself.

"Uuh, I needed to ask you, something about r-relationships..." you say, and her eyes light up. She loves nothing more than talking about relationships (you gave up on talking to Karkat about them long ago after he screwed up you and your old red-crush), and so she quickly pulls you into her room. You find yourself plopped down in a pile of pyralsprites, probably left over from when Terezi was her roommate.

"Spill!" Nepeta grins, showing of all her sharpened teeth.

"Uuuuh..." You turn brown and clench your eyes shut. "I'm flushed for..." Here it goes! "...Jade."


Nepeta turns a strange shade of green and looks down. "Oh, okay then."

You're angry at yourself for screwing that one up, so much that you stand up and stagger to the door, "I-I just, remembered, something that, I h-had to, do."

You leave and close the door behind you and stagger away. Maybe it was for the best, because you know how much she likes Karkat.

You fail to read Gamzee's message about how he's running out of sopar slime.


You're falling down an endless black pit, and your whole torso is burning but you can't scream. You want to scream so hard your throat cracks and ruptures and you want to close your eyes so you just can't see the black anymore, but you can't. You can't move and then you wonder, somewhere in your mind, hidden behind the terror and pain, if this is what it feels like to be dead. You thought it was painless.

Suddenly it just stops and the blackness turns to memories. Flashes of moments you didn't know were there. The first time you watched Pupa Pan. When you first met Vriska, and the time she first told you that she sometimes wondered if she hated you. Every word that ever hurt you, ever word that ever helped you. The first time Gamzee came staggering into your house, stoned and scaring you to death. Your failed confession with Nepeta. You suddenly wish that you were brave and told her everything no matter what the consequences. You wonder if she ever felt the same about you.

And then you hit the ground and everything



~First Meeting~

Your name is Tavros Nitram, you are three sweeps old, and you are hopelessly lost.

You were on your way to your friend Aradia's hive to FLARP, when Vriska messaged you and told you to take a shortcut through the forest. You followed her directions, because she'd never lie to you, but you must have taken a wrong turn. You've lost any sight you once had of the already almost-hidden path. All around you are trees, trees, and more trees.

You suddenly have the feeling that this has all happened to you before.


rainbowhipster: (Default)

July 2012

222324 25262728


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 22nd, 2017 09:45 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios